‘It was beautiful’: In his last hours, James Valentine delivered one final performance
In James Valentine’s last hours, the much-loved broadcaster, author and musician was called on for one final performance. In pain and at risk of slipping into unconsciousness, he needed to stay alert enough to acknowledge the voluntary assisted dying team who arrived at home in Sydney’s eastern suburbs on Wednesday morning.
“You actually have to be conscious right up to the time that it’s administered,” his wife, clinical psychologist Joanne Corrigan, said in the hours after the announcement of a death that was deeply felt across the city. “It was getting hairy … because he went very quickly downhill from Friday.”
While a medical complication might have forced Valentine into hospital for surgery, Corrigan knew how much he wanted to be at home when the time came. That had been clear during the careful planning the family had made about his death that included long discussions with their children, Roy and Ruby, a living wake fittingly held on Valentine’s Day, and even what might be on stage – his saxophone, naturally – at a memorial service.
After the family issued a statement saying Valentine was “calm, dignified as always and somehow still making us laugh” as he died, Corrigan warmly and courageously spoke about his final hours amid her grief.
“I said to him ‘You’ve got one last big performance you got to do, James’,” she said. “When they come in and they say, ‘We’re the voluntary assisted dying people’, you’ve got to say, ‘Yes, I know who you are. I want voluntary assisted’. You’ve got to be conscious because otherwise they’re going to leave.”
Valentine’s family confirmed he chose Voluntary Assisted Dying following a two-year cancer battle.
When that moment arrived, Valentine did what he had done for years on ABC Radio Sydney and delivered from the heart for an audience that included Corrigan, Roy and Ruby in a quietened bedroom.
“They came in and asked ‘Do you know who we are? Do you know what you’re doing?’” she said. “He put his head off the pillow and went, ‘Yes, voluntary assisted’. I can’t believe he had the energy but he was so determined.”
Two years after being diagnosed with oesophageal cancer and just over two months after a recurrence had triggered an emotional retirement from the airwaves, Valentine died aged 64.
“He felt cosy,” Corrigan said. “He chose the place in the bed where I sleep all the time. He was like, ‘I want to be here in this spot. I’m just comfortable’. It was a very gentle end to the suffering.
“The three of us said goodbye to him and he was immediately just at peace. It was beautiful.”
The couple had been enthusiastic advocates for VAD since speaking about it with fellow ABC personality Andrew Denton, one of its most vocal proponents. “It was just a no-brainer for us – why would you not?” Corrigan said. “It’s done so beautifully. It’s very dignified.”
They had been preparing for his last days for six months, keeping Roy and Ruby informed of every oncologist’s update, every step in the treatment, then every stage once there was no more hope that it would save Valentine’s life.
“We’ve all had a very open discussion,” Corrigan said. “They talked about death and where did he think he was going and what was he scared of.”
Even so, there was a tough moment for Valentine as his condition worsened on Monday night.
“He called us in at one point when we were in the lounge room just chatting and having a lovely memory time,” Corrigan said. “He went ‘I’m terrified. Can you come in and sit with us?’ And from that moment on Monday night, we just kept vigil. None of us slept. We just sat up all night with him.”
Planning for VAD started with discussing it with a social worker at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse, where it was handled. The couple learnt about the careful checks and balances that included having to be assessed twice to ensure that it was exactly what he wanted.
Said Corrigan: “He kept saying, the one thing I want to do is really try to die well because it’s such an important thing. I don’t want to leave the kids thinking that I was bitter and angry and full of resentment …
“He was very conscious that ‘I’m going to consider this very calmly and quietly and I’m going to discuss it with the children’. We had very beautiful, existential, spiritual, deep and meaningful conversations for the last six months.”
Corrigan, who said Valentine loved engaging in these conversations, believes it’s important to discuss looming death rather than, as so often happens out of discomfort or from not know what to say, avoiding the topic.
“Apart from voluntary assisted, I would also just say that that just the whole idea of dying with a little bit of calmness and acceptance and understanding is actually a really important way that you show the people around you how to do it,” she said.
On ABC radio, Roy said it had been “the most beautiful thing listening” to listeners’ tributes. “We’ve just sat on the balcony – all together – listening to the program and taking it all in,” he said.
Ruby added that it was “such a comfort to be able to hear from everyone and how loved he was”.
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