90 Day Fiancé star Angela Deem is getting trashed for the filthy home she used to share with her wayward ex Michael Ilesanmi, but maybe the problems in her relationship left her feeling depressed and alone. Not every slob is depressed – everyone is different. However, there’s always the chance that, while they were still together, Michael’s Green Card hunting, womanizing ways were getting her down.

Maybe she didn’t feel like scrubbing the floors when she was living the kind of life that inspired the classic TLC hit, “No Scrubs.”

Michael played Angela like a fiddle, messing with the older woman’s head from day one. Now that Michael’s ditched her, and is living the American Dream, Angela thinks she’s lost something, but really, she’s been set free. It’ll just take a while until she realizes that she can enjoy life more on her own. People in toxic relationships get used to the highs and lows – they may even get addicted to them. However, ultimately, real happiness can’t be attained in a relationship where one person is using the other. There will always be a void.

Angela’s Whole Life Was Messy

Her Home Reflected Her State Of Mind

As Araomoegbang‘s TikTok shows, her home was sometimes a mess while she was with Michael, but the rest of her life was messy too. In a way, it makes sense that what someone’s enduring psychologically shows in their environment. However, some people don’t have any pity. Instead, they tear into Angela, criticizing her poor housekeeping skills. They don’t seem to be as hard on the man who accepted oral sex from another woman (in his car, no less) while he was Angela’s “partner.” Instead, one fan in the comments berated Angela for not cleaning up before Michael arrived:

she knew he was coming to see her house for the 1st time. how do you not clean up your filthy house. RunMichael Run!

Angela deserves some of the shade. She’s a fiery person with a terrible temper. She needs to learn to control that. If she does, her whole life will change. The housework thing isn’t such a big deal, so maybe people should give Angela a break. She worked in a hospice, taking care of people in palliative care. That job requires compassion. She looks after her kids and grandkids. Angela also entertains audiences.

Clearly, she’s a very busy woman who possibly needs a maid.

Michael’s insincerity was always there, but Angela would push it away, trying to believe in him. That was a sad thing to witness. Yes, she would explode when all the doubts and fears festering inside of her hit critical mass, and there’s no excuse for some things she’s done. However, him using her was inexcusable too. On both sides, there were serious problems.

Even if Michael had been nice, “Angie” probably would have abused him sometimes. She just loses it easily, going way too far. As for Michael, when did he ever really love Angela? When he cheated on her? When he asked her for money? When he tried to use Facebook to connect with other women? That’s not love! Angela would feel uneasy – she toggled between considering Michael her Nigerian prince and calling him a possible scammer. Something inside of her knew the score – again, she pushed those thoughts away.

Living with a user is going to take its toll. Everything the person keeps inside (the one who’s being used), they have to live with. Since they’re internalizing so much (yes, even a firecracker like Angela doesn’t express every bit of pain she’s feeling), they may feel lethargic at times. The effort it takes to compartmentalize and try to have a good life may leave little energy for anything else, including housework.

As a victim of Angela’s abuse, Michael deserves sympathy, but as a man who used an older woman for money and a Green Card, he deserves no sympathy at all. There’s talk that he fled Angela’s filthy home, but really, he never had any intention of staying there forever. Angela was a means to an end. The coldblooded ways that people use partners in the 90 Day Fiancé franchise is a bit chilling. It takes a lot of deception to live with someone, or at least Facetime them every day and night, and act and lie the entire time.

Yes, Angela’s house was in an awful state, but she can always tidy it up. It doesn’t take that long to clean a residence. It’s a problem that is easily solved. The other issues in Angela’s life, such as how to recover from so much heartbreak, are much harder to solve. The best thing Angela can do is branch out – keep trying new things and let life happen to her.

When she makes an honest effort to put this botched and harmful relationship behind her, she will win. She’s the one with the talent – the gift she has is the capacity to entertain. Honing her skills in that area will probably be good for her. No one needs to be living in the past 24 hours a day. Angela can recover from this, and maybe 90 Day Fiancé fans should go easy on her. They haven’t walked a mile in her shoes.