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Ben Affleck, Ryan GoslingKatie Jones for WWD, Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images.

There’s been quite a bit of discussion lately when it comes to male stars who are over the age of 40 in Hollywood. Female stars are, unfortunately, used to the topic of aging and beauty, but it seems like the tide has turned toward the men — and it’s headed in the wrong direction.

On Sunday, after his appearance on Netflix’s The Roast of Tom Brady, Ben Affleck found himself the subject of criticism from X users who joked that he was “hard launching a new face,” or he was “fresh from a facelift.” While many female celebrities talk openly about cosmetic procedures, like Botox, facelifts, and laser treatments, that transparency has not made its way over to men just yet. While no one has any knowledge of what the 51-year-old star has or has not done to his face, his looks are a part of his business. Why are we shaming him for aging?

Fans don’t like it when we do it to women, so does it make it OK to do it the men? We should be more focused on changing the stigma of aging, and giving people the freedom to decide whether injectables are the right path for them. Ryan Gosling is another A-list star who is also facing the same scrutiny as Affleck. A Life & Style source chimed in on “his changing face,” noting, “A lot of people in his world are whispering he’s gone overboard with Botox and filler.” They are even go as far as to blame his partner, Eva Mendes, who has been open about her beauty routine on social media.

“There’s no doubt her interest in this has rubbed off on him, plus it’s Hollywood, everyone’s doing it,” the insider added. The critics might want to learn something from And Just Like That star Kristin Davis, who experimented with fillers and was trolled by the internet over her looks. She told Entertainment Tonight that she felt the “shame” of deciding to follow this avenue of beauty. Davis didn’t love the results, but she also didn’t need to hear the stream of constant criticism from social media. “I think part of the reason that people are not more open is because there is such shaming put on you largely by other women,” she revealed. “It’s so sad. We have enough problems as it is. We don’t need to shame each other. Like, it’s so much a waste of time, but it does hurt.”

It’s such a mixed message because celebrities are hearing from fans that they look too old. If they do something about it, they are then criticized for doing too much. Everyone should be able to age gracefully — whether that means a few lines on their faces or a facelift. Society needs to drive the message home that aging is a privilege and we shouldn’t be shaming men or women for their individual choices.