When Meghan Markle “graciously” posted a birthday tribute for Lilibet’s fifth birthday, the public was once again treated to the Sussex family’s signature tiresome farce. Instead of a warm, genuine photo of her little girl, Meghan offered nothing more than a glimpse of flowing reddish hair, with Lilibet’s face completely hidden as if the poor child were in a witness protection programme.

“The same people who have been abusing me want to see me serve my child on a silver platter, a child who is not going to be protected and doesn’t have a title. How does that make sense? Tell that to any mother in the world,” is a quote Meghan Markle once said

The crowning irony is the growing speculation that the mastermind behind this ridiculous face-hiding policy is none other than Prince Harry himself — the self-appointed superhero father protecting his children from the big bad media. How delightfully progressive: fleeing the royal family for freedom, only to create an even more tightly controlled image factory than the one they left behind.

Harry, still traumatised by his mother’s tragic death, continues to dramatically demand absolute privacy for Archie and Lilibet as though the press were flesh-eating monsters. Yet Meghan, armed with razor-sharp business instincts and an insatiable hunger for the spotlight, keeps cleverly sneaking the children into Instagram posts to flog her As Ever products and prop up her “lifestyle queen” fantasy.

Yet, Meghan’s latest Instagram snaps prove her words have no meaning, because here we are looking at a new photo of Princess Lilibet, which shows about half of her face.

The result is these laughably half-hearted birthday posts: the children are technically there, but somehow faceless — the perfect balance of “look at us” and “don’t you dare look at us.” Katie Nicholl of Royals Uncensored rightly mocked the hypocrisy, pointing out that you cannot scream for privacy while repeatedly using your kids as props for likes and sales.

The absurdity reaches comedic heights when one remembers how the Sussexes constantly cry about security threats to demand police escorts in Britain, yet happily post these teasing, anonymised family snaps on the most public platform in the world.

It’s hardly a surprise that her latest Instagram post has been torn apart online, with royal commentator Kinsey Schofield telling TalkTV’s Mark Dolan: “She said she wasn’t going to serve her children to the media on a silver platter, but now we have her serving her children on a silver platter to the same social media companies that she goes around campaigning against.”

Harry wants to shield them from the spotlight; Meghan wants to monetise that very spotlight. The poor children are thus trapped in a bizarre limbo — hidden like state secrets and exploited like brand assets at the same time. The public is thoroughly exhausted by this repetitive, low-budget sitcom titled “Protecting Our Children,” which conveniently airs every birthday.

After loudly abandoning the monarchy in pursuit of “authenticity and freedom,” the couple has built an even more professional image-manufacturing operation than the institution they fled. Five-year-old Lilibet has unwittingly become collateral damage in the clash between her father’s paranoia and her mother’s relentless commercial ambitions.

Kinsey went on to claim that law enforcement would suggest the way Meghan “teases” her children’s faces on social media could be an even bigger risk, as it could “increase security concerns”.

These faceless birthday posts don’t radiate love — they reek of cold calculation. This isn’t protection; it’s merely a convenient PR shield to keep squeezing every last drop from the Sussex brand while their other projects continue to crumble. Once again, the innocent children are left footing the bill for their parents’ glittering, contradictory, and thoroughly artificial dreams.