Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged suicide note was finally revealed — and the convicted pedophile appears to claim investigators “found nothing” on him.

“They investigated for month — found nothing!!!” read the barely legible note, released by a New York court order Wednesday in response to a New York Times petition.

“So 16 year old charge results!” the note appeared to read. “It is a treat to be able to choose one’s time to say goodbye.”

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Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged suicide note from his failed 2019 attempt.
“Watcha want me to do — bust out crying!!” it continued. “NO FUN — not worth it!!”

The note was purportedly written after Epstein tried to hang himself in his Manhattan jail cell in July 2019, just days after his arrest for sex trafficking.

He was unsuccessful in that attempt and blamed his cellmate — disgraced cop and convicted quadruple murderer Nicholas Tartaglione.

Tartaglione found the note and gave it to his lawyers as purported proof that he did not attempt to murder the disgraced financier.

Tartaglione’s lawyer claimed the note was later verified as being written by Epstein, according to the Times.

Epstein succeeded in killing himself in August 2019, the month after the note was supposedly written for the initial attempt.

The verbiage in the supposed suicide note was similar to another scrawl he’d written while being held in Manhattan’s Metropolitan Correctional Center, where he complained about being fed bad food and living with “giant bugs.”

“No fun!!” he also wrote on that note.

It languished in Tartaglione’s case file at his attorney’s office after it was found, then spent years locked in the vaults of a White Plains court after a judge ordered it sealed for the ex-cop’s ongoing litigation.

But Tartaglione hinted at its existence after he was convicted of murder in 2023.

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The convicted pedophile in his 2017 mug shot.AP
He claimed to have found the note – scrawled on yellow legal paper – tucked between the pages of a graphic novel in the cell he shared with Epstein.

The pedo had been found with severe red marks on his neck while bunking with Tartaglione.

After telling prison staff he hadn’t tried to kill himself — claiming instead that Tartaglione tried to strangle him — Epstein was transferred to his own cell.

Conspiracy theories quickly followed Epstein’s death, and were fanned by a number of egregious failures from his jail — namely that cameras aimed at his cell weren’t working and that guards assigned to his block had fallen asleep.

Epstein’s massive web of high-stakes connections — from the likes of former President Bill Clinton and President Trump, to numerous titans of industry and science — also spawned stories that he’d used his lurid playground of private properties and trafficked women to blackmail people.

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Epstein wears a blue padded anti-suicide vest during the 2019 failed attempt to take his life.DOJ

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Epstein succeeded in killing himself in August 2019, the month after the note was supposedly written for the initial attempt.DOJ
Debates have raged about that too — and were only deepened by the release in 2026 of millions of files from the federal government’s investigation into Epstein.

But some confidants close to Epstein have insisted that’s all hogwash — including his former attorney, Alan Dershowitz.

Dershowitz recently told The Post’s “Pod Force One” that Epstein had dirt on only one big wig, but that it wasn’t a politician.

Dershowitz also said Epstein wasn’t a pedophile because he wasn’t interested in pre-pubescent people — just teens.

Some claims of rape by Epstein have come from girls as young as 14, and possibly even younger, however.